Recently diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, I have been cursing my body for the last two years, angry with my pancreas for not producing insulin and being disappointed in myself daily for “failing”. Through meditation, however, I am learning to love my diabetes, to embrace her as a hurt friend in need of my love and assistance.
Like a troubled friend crying in a dark corner, I would never scold her for her disabilities or shortcomings. Disease that lives in your body needs your love and attention. Do not neglect her for disappointing you, but rather befriend her and find ways to partner with your disease because when you identify her as a partner, together you can heal.
In a life full of changes, worries, disappointments, and heartache, it is important to have small victories to celebrate your successes. Since you have been meditating on your intentions, let us also set a daily goal that will serve as milestone of our small victories.
Overcoming fear of failure and realizing that I am a work in progress, it is my small victory to test my blood sugar four times per day. The difficulty lies in a high glucose reading that sends me into a spiral of “how did I fail myself again?” Like someone struggling with weight and constantly stepping on to a scale, taking my blood sugar is a constant reminder that I may not be on track. In my journey to remember that diabetes is my aching friend, and I am here to support her, to support us. I try to remove the critical judgment and move toward healing.
What is your daily small victory?